Living With A Depressed Spouse?

Depression can affect people in many different ways.  Spouses can be an important piece in recognizing and supporting their loved one’s mental health.  Be aware of what may be going on in your spouse’s world.

Ask yourself: Has my spouse began or stopped any medication? Are we close to an anniversary or holiday that may promote a sadden mood?  Has something recently changed in my spouse’s life either physically, mentally, or socially?  Asking these questions can provide context into an abrupt change of mood.  

Here are some depressive symptoms you may see in your spouse.

Feeling down or “blue” most of the day.

Remember that depression is different than sadness.  A depressed spouse will feel down most days the majority of the day.  These symptoms could be noticed over several weeks.

Wanting to sleep in more than usual

Perhaps your spouse has begun to sleep in the majority of the day.  They seem like they never have the energy or motivation to go out.  They report feeling tired or unmotivated to make any changes.

Lost interest

Take notice if your spouse no longer has the same enthusiasm with activates that once brought them joy.  This I more than a change of taste.

Suicidal comments or thoughts

All thoughts or statements regarding suicide should be taken seriously.  If you have any concern that your spouse will attempt suicide call 911.  Let them know what you have heard and observed.  Perhaps your spouse talks about wanting to sleep forever.  They may say that they would never attempt suicide but just want to feel different or not feel at all.  This is a sign that a professional may need to be contacted.  If you are not sure what your spouse is thinking, ask a direct question. Example: “I really care about you, and the way you are talking I am concerned for your safety, are you having thoughts about ending your life?”  Take all threats to life seriously.

Changes in hygiene

You may notice a change in the energy toward hygiene.   They may stop taking showers as regularly or no longer shave or comb their hair.  These symptoms may be subtle. Perhaps they report just feeling tired or that they no longer have the time.

Irritability

This may look like anger.  Your spouse has a short fuse.  They may seem to explode when you ask simple questions or ask them to do something.  Take note if this behavior is out of the norm.  This may provide insight that something internally is going on.  Be sensitive to their needs.  Do not attempt to pry something out of your spouse if they are not prepared to talk.

Eating habits

Have you noticed a change in their eating habits?  Do they eat more than usual, or do they eat less?  Extreme changes can indicate that they are out of balance.  You may have notice that they have gained or loss weight.

These signs may hold true for other loved ones such as a parent or child, as well. Talk therapy is proven to be beneficial treatment to symptoms of depression.  Please note, the symptoms listed above may not result in a Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis, if you have a concern make sure you contact a licensed professional. Do not allow stigma to stop a loved one from getting the help they need.